What is freedom?

I have been thinking what the word freedom means lately and I can't quite put my finger on it. Freedom is such a large topic/idea it’s almost not real and maybe doesn't exist. It’s a feeling or motion that people believe in as they move in time. It’s something that is made true by the people in society who listen to and believe the authorities (and I don't just mean the Government) who in many ways tell us what is freedom. 

A lot of people say they are free - but are they truly free? Now I’m not talking about societal strains that make us like robots or whatever they want us to be and think. I’m talking about ourselves - do we stop ourselves from being free? I think we do, and probably unconsciously. Right now I couldn't tell you what I think freedom is because in different contexts it has many different meanings.  But I’ll give it a go. Right now freedom is to be free of constraints (physically and mentally) and fears. It is the ability to do as one wishes without doubt. When one is free there are no regrets. Maybe this has something to do with what I’ve been reading - however it’s something bothering me and I really want to explore this concept because I think we can be free - well more than we are now. I want to understand why we hold ourselves from freedom and doubt so much. I want to understand if the fear of regret stops us from being free. Actually, what is the difference between being free and feeling free? I guess feeling free is something bubbling inside us and does not determine whether actions are always followed through, perhaps we have to truly believe we are free or be free to exercise freedom. I don’t know about you but I think it’s a waste of time to feel something and not act upon it. What are we so afraid of? 

To be open, I am an example of someone who hasn't acted upon my feelings of freedom and I don’t know why. There was a longing for it, but in the past I have stopped my self because of what I thought I was 'supposed to do and not do'. Do I have regrets - well no because I am growing to not walk in the steps of what others believe I should do, but I’m learning where I should go. I’m not sure yet, but I feel free. 

To hold on to something that hurts us prevents us from being free. If someone offends you or makes you feel horrible and unworthy or whatever, and you resent them or expect an apology - you are preventing yourself from being free. Just let it go. Let those feelings of resentment go - that is what it is to be free, or part of. It is better to be free than right or stubborn. I am one of those people who wastes no time in caring if someone has offended me. One because I went to a school where everyone was made fun of - no seriously everyone I know from my secondary school has thick skin. Second, what’s the point of using my face muscles to be upset and literally waste my time thinking about how much that person has annoyed me. Sorry, I have no time for that - understand the world is carrying on with or without you. 

What else? Well, freedom is used in so many cliché sayings and people say them or read them to make themselves feel better. Reading freedom statements does not mean you instantly become free. It is being aware of how you react in tough situations - that help you to change. For example, if someone offends or hurts you - how do you react in that situation? Do you tell them you are not happy with whatever they did and then move on. Or do you ponder on what that person has done to you for a whole week and wish you said something else but didn't think of it at the time? Choose the former - please. 

I want to believe I'm free and act upon this. We would all be so much happier I think. Just looking at people on the tube in the morning with frowning faces just illustrates a lot of us are not free. Besides the fact they are on a stuffy tube, maybe they are going to jobs which they have not freely chosen to do but because of someone’s influence in their lives. I can’t live a life like that. What is the point of running around if it’s not your choice to do so. Let’s not even talk about choice because that's for another day. 

Let's not have doubts and regrets, but be free in our own way. 

xxx

Goodbye and Hello

I’ve tried to shut the thought out for so long but I need to face it, my big sister is officially leaving me. She is about to spread her wings and soar like an eagle. It’s crazy that I've actually stopped myself from thinking about it - I even forgot at one point because I need my big sister. Not only is she going to learn a lot - I will too. I’ve realised I depend quite a bit on my sister being around even though I may not show it and we bicker - but we have the best sister relationship. We understand each other in an odd way - it’s so hard to explain but it’s great.

I am so proud of her and I’m so happy she is about to embark on a new part of her adventure. I’m excited to hear the stories and see her smile. She deserves everything because she works so hard and I don’t think she knows how amazing she is and how others and I adore her. She is one in a million. I couldn't say this to her face because …  conversations like this rarely happen and, to be honest, I would cry. She is amazing and I couldn't ask for a better sister. 

I can’t believe she is leaving me. I’ll miss our train journeys, I’ll miss our catch ups at night time, her love, her hair products, her perfume, eye conversations, secret jokes, and I’ll miss her face to face advice. 

I really hope I haven’t taken my sister for granted. It’s crazy how we only remember what another person has done for us when they are about to leave or when it’s their birthday. It’s really selfish and I’m sorry Glyn, I’m sorry if I've ever taken you for granted. 

Anyway because I don’t want to get too emotional - I just want to say goodbye and hello to our new sister relationship. It will be different I know but please let us remain as close as ever. 

I love you to the other galaxies and back Glyn. 

p.s. Thank you for the room 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy New Year!

Happy new year to you all and of course, I am going to discuss new years resolutions/goals for the year ahead. Although it is a very cliché thing to do - I must admit I consciously make a decision to set some new goals for the year. Do we do this to feel a sense of accomplishment and confirm that we can make some changes to maybe our not so fun great lives? Personally, I normally set goals on my birthday - I think it makes a little more sense. However, I don't  think we should have to wait until our birthdays or new years to make changes. If we really want to make the changes in our lives we would just make the decision to do it straight away. Why should you have to wait until your birthday or new years to be the new you? You have control over the decisions you make for your life so why wait until the Instagram posts indicate a time for you to do so? 

Do we set goals for other people? Or do we truly set them for ourselves? Do we set these goals to get recognition from other people to show that we are moving on with our lives and aren't bums or what do you call it, ‘basic’?

When we set ourselves challenges let’s do it for us and not for the people around us to clap their hands and pat us on the back. If we know change needs to happen - make it happen. 

If you have set any goals or resolutions for this year I hope you achieve them, and if you get to a point where you think you won’t be able to achieve what you set - don't worry keep trying you’ll do it, even if takes you a while. 

Happy New Year :D