Goodbye and Hello

I’ve tried to shut the thought out for so long but I need to face it, my big sister is officially leaving me. She is about to spread her wings and soar like an eagle. It’s crazy that I've actually stopped myself from thinking about it - I even forgot at one point because I need my big sister. Not only is she going to learn a lot - I will too. I’ve realised I depend quite a bit on my sister being around even though I may not show it and we bicker - but we have the best sister relationship. We understand each other in an odd way - it’s so hard to explain but it’s great.

I am so proud of her and I’m so happy she is about to embark on a new part of her adventure. I’m excited to hear the stories and see her smile. She deserves everything because she works so hard and I don’t think she knows how amazing she is and how others and I adore her. She is one in a million. I couldn't say this to her face because …  conversations like this rarely happen and, to be honest, I would cry. She is amazing and I couldn't ask for a better sister. 

I can’t believe she is leaving me. I’ll miss our train journeys, I’ll miss our catch ups at night time, her love, her hair products, her perfume, eye conversations, secret jokes, and I’ll miss her face to face advice. 

I really hope I haven’t taken my sister for granted. It’s crazy how we only remember what another person has done for us when they are about to leave or when it’s their birthday. It’s really selfish and I’m sorry Glyn, I’m sorry if I've ever taken you for granted. 

Anyway because I don’t want to get too emotional - I just want to say goodbye and hello to our new sister relationship. It will be different I know but please let us remain as close as ever. 

I love you to the other galaxies and back Glyn. 

p.s. Thank you for the room 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A tiny bit about identity

I recently went to my friend’s show which was based around identity and this made me think what is identity and what does it mean to me. What is my identity and who do I identify myself with and should I? 

I assume - and I know it is very bad to assume, but people judge one another based on what they think that person’s identity is. This is the problem - you can never truly know someone's identity because one’s identity changes every day. We go through different experiences every minute which changes our identity and we come into contact with things or objects which we may identify ourselves with, thus changing how we see ourselves and how we act in the world. I think identity is made up of labels which society has created for us to choose from and use. What if we don't want to identify with any of the labels - does this make us crazy or lost? Not really, maybe we just don't identify with any of the given labels. That is okay. 

One small example. When people say where do you come from (because people make judgements on one's identity through this question - I have no idea why) - what do you say? Well, I say I’m British because I was born in the UK - however am I also Sierra Leonean because my parents are from there and my home life fits more with the Sierra Leonean culture. But of course this is watered down because I'm not in Sierra Leone, I'm in England. So maybe most first generation kids are just in limbo - who do we identify ourselves with or to? Inside our house we may be Indian, Lithuanian, African or whatever, but as soon as we step outside and interact with other people in educational institutions or other places with authority- are we just British? Are we something else? This is what I am a little confused about. I guess us first generation kids are a mixture of both. What if you came to England when you were three - does that mean you are 100% not British even though you were brought up in the same environment as a child who was born in England and you even have the same accent. I think it’s up to the individual to decide this and it’s not for the other to pin-point and say what they think they are - in every case of what the identity is and not just where someone comes from.

I could of course go on about other parts which make up the identity, but I will not because this is a blog post and not an essay :). 

Be you and not what we are told we have to be. 

xxx